Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started

3 Reasons to Share Your Emotional Exploits with God

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Have you ever had a day where one minute you are praising the Lord and the next minute you find yourself frail and experiencing a moment of despair? Emotions-they can take us on adventures of extreme highs and lows within seconds. We can go from a mountain top to a pit of self-criticism. They can truly manipulate our thinking if we allow it.

Jeremiah knew about this all too well. In Jeremiah 20, he quickly goes from worshiping the Father as a mighty rescuer to blatantly showing major insecurity within himself. He even states, “Cursed be the day I was born! May the day my mother bore me not be blessed!” (Jeremiah 20:14 NIV).  Wow, definitely a stark contrast in thoughts and emotions.

Emotions can even be mixed. I have often found myself in sorrow and despair yet praising the Lord. In times of deep grief and major heartbreak, I have found crazy joy which makes absolutely no sense in human terms. There have been times when my heart and mind have been so peaceful when my world was absolutely falling apart.

Feelings are feelings! It is part of how God constructed each of us. He knows us better than we know ourselves, so our emotional displays and expressions do not catch Him off guard. Much like Jeremiah, God wants us to voice the despair and insecurity. He truly wants us to have 100% confidence in Him to be transparent and raw.  

Let me share 3 reasons I have found why to express all feelings (good, bad, or ugly) with God:

  1. It is a display of trust. Deuteronomy 7:9 states, “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.” When we share our crude feelings with God, it shows a level of faith and dependance. Regardless of how we feel, the Lord is more concerned with where we place our hope. Our transparency shows belief in God’s promise to not allow anything to separate us from His great love no matter the emotions and insecurity running through our veins.
  2. It demonstrates a relationship with the Lord. Deuteronomy 3:24 states, “O Lord GOD, You have begun to show Your servant Your greatness and Your strong hand; for what god is there is heaven or on earth who can do such works and mighty acts as Yours?” Think about where you run first with good or bad news. Are there emotions that come with the news? Sharing information with someone builds a relationship. We go to them because we know they care and the news is just as important to them as it is to us. When we go to God it builds a relationship. He delights in our vote of confidence. He cares deeply about our everyday news, feelings, success, failures, highlights, etc. Let Jeremiah be our example to share ALL that is within us to the one who is in charge of all things-GOD.
  3. It illustrates humility. Proverbs 11:2 states, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” We are often too prideful to admit our emotions due to the conditioning of society. The book of Jeremiah expresses how pride destroyed Judah to the point of no return. They refused to listen to reproof or the sting of truth because they only wanted to experience “good feelings” regardless if they were attached to sinful acts. When we lay ALL emotions before the Lord, we display a heart under God’s authority. We demonstrate a belief in Him as steadfast and master of all our thoughts, emotions, and feelings. It is an opportunity to allow God to sort through them and guide us in dealing with them appropriately.

Remember my friend, God remains your all in all. Trust Him with everything-yes, even with those crazy emotional exploits that seem to come out of the blue. He is the one person who can handle the transparency and give you the discernment with each emotion-good, bad, or ugly. Let this be a pathway to build a relationship with Him. Make a point to chat with Him often and share honest moments.

Who else truly has your back, fights for you on all realms, and never grows tired of loving you?

Hungry for God’s Word?

Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

Happy October! What a beautiful change this week. Our highest temperature was in the 50s yesterday. I am sure the first freeze is upon us soon, but for now I have enjoyed the cooler weather.

It seems this time of the year makes me really think about food. Pumpkin pie, zucchini bread, homemade soup, quiche, flavored coffee, etc. All things warm and cozy. Comfort! I can feel the fall hunger within me. The question is what will really satisfy my seasonal craving?

As we continue our fall study in Jeremiah, the subject of hunger appeared this past week. Jeremiah introduces a hungry soul and what can satisfy it. In Jeremiah 15:16 he states, “Your words are what sustain me; they are food to my hungry soul. They bring joy to my sorrowing heart and delight me. How proud I am to bear your name, O Lord.” (Living Bible)  

Jesus encouraged followers to feast on God’s Word. (John 8:31-32) He clearly wants us to not only build a relationship with the Trinity but with Scripture as well. Why? Because there is power in the word and He clearly illustrated this with His encounter with the enemy.

I think I can safely say we know an essential element in our spiritual walk is interacting with the Bible. Over and over, we are reminded of the substance it delivers. It gives us insight to the character of God, His desire for our daily living, and a multitude of sweet promises for His children. In chapter 20 of Jeremiah, we find Scripture can even ignite a fire within us to boldly witness without worry of persecution.

Do you crave God’s Word? Is it something you cannot live without? Do the words comfort and satisfying come to mind when thinking about your relationship with Scripture? Does it seems like a lot to take in much like the image above? Is it hard to “take a bite” on your own?

Much like discipleship training, we all need biblical literacy guidance. Often our Bibles are underutilized because we are unsure how to independently interact with God’s Word. I know this was very true for me.

Rick Warren once said, “…hungry Christians need to be taught how to feed themselves from the Word of God.” It takes time and training to grow in proficiency when building a relationship with Scripture. There are tons of strategies and methods, but regardless they are useless if they don’t resonate with you.

The main factor is consistency and commitment. Then read with purpose. Start with three areas of focus:

  1. Who is God?
  2. What does He want me to do or stop doing?
  3. What promises does God make?

These three areas alone can furnish us with a firm foundation to interacting with Scripture. This approach is an open invitation to carry out James 1:22-becoming a doer of the Word and stepping out in faith more and more as you get to know God deeper, discover His commands and cling to His promises.

Challenge yourself to read with intentionality. Spend time digesting books of the Bible by taking it one chapter at a time. I read this week that it is beneficial to read a chapter a week and read it at least five times during the timeframe. WOW! Also, it was suggested to set aside an hour twice a week for deep study. What great advice especially when we take God’s Word bite-by-bite, verse-by-verse.

So, what will you do differently this week as you grow in Scripture proficiency and biblical literacy? What can you add to your daily or weekly routine? How can you incorporate the three areas: Who is God? What are His instructions/reproof? Are there promises made in the passage?

We would love to hear from you. If you are seeking for an online group to assist you in Bible study skills, let us know. We meet online every Monday night via Zoom for one hour starting at 6:00 p.m. (CST). We will be happy to share the group link with you! We would love to have you join us as we learn how to grow in relationship with the Word of God together.

Can a Leopard change his spots?

Written by Robin Gonzales
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

If you are like me, you grew up hearing the phrase “Can a leopard change his spots?”

This is something I have even used myself when describing someone who was cheating or being deceitful in some way.

It was not until recently when we were studying Jeremiah that I discovered the phrase actually came from God’s word. Jeremiah 13:23 (NIV).

Can an Ethiopian change his skin or a leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil.

What was God trying to say? Is he saying if you are a sinner, you will always be a sinner–there is no hope for you? NO!

We are sinners and will continue to make wrong decisions until the day we leave these fleshly bodies, but Jesus is our source of hope. He paid the price and took on ALL of our sins so we could have a relationship with God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit).

God is trying to make a point. As humans, because God gave us intelligence and the freedom of choice, we think we have the power and ability to govern our own lives and we are self-sufficient apart from God. When in fact, we are reliant on God for everything. The air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat, the sun that rises and sets each day.

Reflect on this quote from A. W. Towzer’s book, The Knowledge of The Holy, “Probably the hardest thought of all of our natural egotism to entertain is that God does not need our help. Commonly, we represent Him as a busy, eager, somewhat frustrated Father hurrying about seeking help to carry out His benevolent plan to bring peace and salvation to the world, but the God who worketh all things needs no help and no helpers.”

Without God we cannot even produce the desire to change our character let alone do anything good for anyone else as Philippians 2:13 (AMPC) tells us.

[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight.

Paul puts it like this in Romans 7:15-18 (AMPC)

For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled, bewildered]. I do not practice or accomplish what I wish, but I do the very thing that I loathe [which my moral instinct condemns]. Now if I do [habitually] what is contrary to my desire, [that means that] I acknowledge and agree that the Law is good (morally excellent) and that I take sides with it. However, it is no longer I who do the deed, but the sin [principle] which is at home in me and has possession of me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot perform it. [I have the intention and urge to do what is right, but no power to carry it out.]

My intention in this writing is to give you hope. For me, it gives me confidence in knowing God himself is working in me to create the desires. It is God producing the power and making a way for me to live out His plan for my life. Knowing He takes an interest in me at all is pretty amazing! 

I am forever grateful He did not leave me where he found me, He sees my heart and knows me better than I know myself.  God is not limited by time or space.  I love that He can see the finished product of me!

God has provided all that is needed, but the choice is still yours and mine. God can change anything!

EXCITING NEWS!

Excellent resource to document your personal Bible journey after a sermon, small group, devotional, etc.

Several have requested a Bible study journal to assist them in their independent study through books of the Bible. We have heard your need and have been diligently working on providing this for you. Exciting news–this is now available AND you have two selections!

Here is the primary information about each option:

Beautiful lined notebook supporting deeper understanding of Scripture when studying the Bible independently. The journals will introduce readers to a simple Bible study method entitled A.M.P.S.

A- Attention                  Allowing God to focus your attention
M- Meaning                   Studying Scripture for full contextual understanding
P- Perspective of God   Pausing to hear and consider the LORD’s point of view

S- Saturation                 Applying Scripture into your current circumstances and daily living

100 pages

2 pages explaining the AMPS format

6 x 9 with soft cover and good quality white paper contents

Fits easily in tote, purse, backpack, etc.

Amazing gift for friends and family

Floral option: http://bitly.ws/uKS8

Black botanical option: http://bitly.ws/uKSd

Something in the works…

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4 (NIV)

Maybe the title should say…something in the words once you here what is coming!

Let me beginning by saying, this book illustrates an imperfect writer striving to point others to the one and only perfect author, God!

After writing Crown the Sword, I honestly never dreamed of writing another book. I know, I know the book ends with the words “until we meet again”. Maybe I thought God would have me writing short devotion books or something of that nature.

I have started this book several times and then stopped. It didn’t feel just right or the direction was off somehow. He kept drawing me to it though. I knew God wanted me to write about being intentional with Scripture and tips on increasing a relationship with Him and infusing of His Word. Are you kidding God? I am not an expert on anything, especially this!

All I can share is my experience and discovery. I can witness to my own journey in reading, studying, and applying the Bible. It turned my life upside down. I went from being a surface level believer to a God fearing, sold-out lover of Him and His Word. When I finally surrendered to His authority, the living resource I found through Biblical text changed everything. It even birthed the Refining ministry!

I have accepted the fact that God has called me out and asked me to step into a spiritual maturity ministry helping others go BEYOND, to the best of my imperfect ability. Look, I do not have all the answers, but I am willing to share my experiences and gained knowledge. The LORD has impressed upon me the importance of helping others discover effective ways to read, comprehend, pray, and infuse Scripture on an individual level. He wants every believer to be fully equipped, including YOU!

The book is in its rough draft form currently. I would ask you to pray for the days ahead and its revision. Pray that each word within this writing will encourage others to go BEYOND their current Scripture intake level whether it be an occasional visitor or daily reader. May it be an invitation to go BEYOND what people say about the Bible to letting GOD speak a personal message directly to readers through His Word.

If you on own a quest to find an individualized plan to in-depth Bible study and desire to sit at the feet of Jesus absorbing His perspective above and BEYOND all else, this might be the book for you.

May the journey from rough draft to full publication be directed by the hands of the Almighty Father only. Please pray for a hedge of protection in the process because this will impact someone’s life in the days ahead.

Until we meet again…

Noting the Promises of God

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 (NIV)

In all of your earthly relationships, who do you place the most trust in? Do the words loyal and faith describe their character? Do they primarily have remarkable follow through with their promises to you? Have they or will they let you down at some point?

I once was advised by a church leader to never have expectations of humans, then I would never be disappointed by them. Well, as much as this appears logical, how could one ever develop an intimacy and deep friendship with no expectations?

I am of the opinion most people choose their circle of friends, you know-those beyond acquaintances, based on trust and dependability. Why would you ever entertain a close association with someone if you didn’t have some type of faithful expectations? How could you truly believe what they said or promised if there wasn’t some level of trust?

Good news-you never have to question the promises of the LORD. He is forever constant in fulfilling and has proved this over and over. Just compare Old Testament prophecy to New Testament fulfillment.

His character is steadfast. God is the only relationship delivering constant, dependable trust. It is His character-loyal, faithful, devoted, and reliable. What a privilege to call Him friend.

When reading Scripture, search for those promises made directly by the father. These guarantees and assurances furnish hope on a big scale. Why? Because you can count on it, my friend! Believe it, trust it, and know it will happen. They are oaths made by the LORD himself.

These promises enter our minds as only information as we read and discover them. But, if we take the time to study each one intimately, God exposes His love for us and declares truth we can certainly hang our hat on. (Oops, that might have come from my Texas upbringing) It provides an insight of eternal hope and builds an even greater scale of confidence in the creator of our soul, Elohim.

As you find the promises of the LORD in your independent reading, decide what your plan will be.

  • Will you highlight them a different color than everything else in your Bible?
  • Will you write them in a special journal filled with nothing but God’s promises? (I call this God’s victory file. It comes in handy on those days the enemy is larking and working overtime. It helps call him out for who and what he is, a liar!)
  • Maybe you are a prayer journal lover. You can write the verse/s of promises directly in your prayer journal book with complete reference. Then pray out the promise/s into your life and those around you.

These three ideas are only the beginning to honoring the promises of the father. Each promise is a revelation you can expect to happen. They embody a powerful force, capable of crushing the attempts of evil. (Think about Jesus’ responds when tempted by the enemy.)

I would encourage you to devise a promise plan right for you. Determine a method of noting these assurances. Highlight them, write them, pray them, use them to encourage others, and cling to them for a lifetime. You may already have a strategy working for you in this area. How could you possibly enhance it?

You can always trust God’s assurances to be prevailing, mighty, effective, impressive, and everlasting! Who else delivers such guarantees?

Oh yeah, one more thing-have expectations of the Father. They will always be fulfilled BEYOND human standards and in accordance with His immaculate plan. Pinkie promise! 

Exceeding Text Elevation: More Than Typography

Photo by Keenan Constance on Pexels.com
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matthew 4:4 (NIV)

Warning-moment of truth!

Looking back at the time in my life when a devotional Bible seemed ideal, I was cracking open God’s Word maybe once a week. I used God’s Word to find verses highlighted during a bible study, sermon, or devotional. Mainly, just to find Scripture presented in a different translation because I felt mine was easier to comprehend.  

Unfortunately, my craving and value for His Word had gradually faded outside of church and beyond the daily devotional conveniently appearing in my inbox each workday morning. It crushes me to tell you this. Nothing captivated my heart to dig deeper into the Bible at the time. The surface level reading seemed sufficient. I was satisfied with my limited exposure. I probably would have even justified my actions as proficient at the time. (If you are in the education world, remember proficient is good for an evaluation rating.)

Permit me to explain. See, my focus and a large portion of my energy was spent on a multitude of earthly loves. A period of time where I wanted to move up in my career, make an impact in the community, be the perfect wife, participate in a ton of events, and the list continues. BUSY-Being Under Satan’s Yoke! I had goals and ambitions. I had very little time to sleep let alone get past the mere printed text after I read it once. (Lesson learned, but that’s another book!)    

After going through a season of discipline, my love for God’s Word grew exponentially. It rebirthed the same hunger I exhibited as a child. I even wanted to revert to finding a closet, grabbing a flashlight, snagging the bed pillows, propping myself on top of a wooden toybox, and getting lost in God’s Word. Oh, the sweet craving of Scripture was back. This newfound reverence and desire finally outweighed everything in life.

Without a doubt, the Bible is more than text on a page yet, many copies of God’s Word are only consumed as print on a page. The potential elevation level of the text remains flat, especially when the Bible remains closed. Even when being read, God’s Word can often become a checkmark on a “To Do” list.

Unfortunately, I know this Scripture relationship all too well.

It is read, but not consumed.

It is treasured, but no life value displayed.

It is highlighted, but not truly understood.

It is set apart from any other writing, but so many other books are used.

It is God’s own voice, but everything else is heard above and beyond it.

It is paired with good intentions, but the follow through is overshadowed by “life”.

Yes—you could probably add more statements and I dare to say they too would probably be familiar to my past.

So, how do we break free from these chains? What can we do to ensure our relationship with God and His Word are more than lip service? Where can a person start? I am not sure I can answer these questions for each reader, but I can share my journey and the ways God captured my heart for Scripture.

It began with a simple prayer of asking the Lord for help to grow closer to Him and know Him more. The Holy Spirit reminded me if I truly wanted more of God and less of me, I had to love His Word as much as I loved Him. It required me putting skin on Timothy 2:15, which states, Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth (NIV).

From this humbly plea, my quest to investigate the importance of Scripture was birthed.

Since then, I can personally attest Scripture is the very words of God:

Living

Miraculous

Powerful

Set Apart

No matter the print arrangement, the Bible is filled with life instructions, promises from the LORD, filled with His attributes and characteristics, and many examples of what-to-do and what-not-to-do.

It is clearly a beautiful love story revealing a God who gave His blameless Son to die for our sins. Book after book of the Voice of God is printed for our engagement and supported by the Holy Spirit’s ability to convey its wisdom.

So much more than typography—an opportunity to go beyond text elevation!

Why “Mountain Tops” are Brief Moments in Life

Photo by M Venter on Pexels.com

North Carolina’s Blue Ridge and Smoky Mountains offer an attractive area with waterfalls and streams of water flowing all around. I am intrigued by the mountain tops and even more so by the view they offer. The breathtaking perspective at its peak makes me appreciate the climb.

I recently partnered with a couple of other leaders to deliver a women’s retreat weekend in the quaint area of Burnsville, NC. It was an opportunity filled with personal discovery for each woman to encounter who GOD IS…for them. The location was lush, green, and nestled amongst tall trees.

One of my favorite views each day was a mountain top glimpse-a place high above the rest. Oh, to live at that uppermost area-on top of the world. The brief thought of living at the top sounded peaceful, relaxing, and charming. What a captivating dream until realistic thinking kicked into gear.

Being on a “mountain top” broadcasts the perfect life when people mention it. However, it took on a different angle the minute I heard someone say, “You can’t survive at the pinnacle of a mountain-if you do you will wither away.” (Talk about bursting my bubble even though I consider myself a beach bum!)

There is great truth to the statement I heard. Although the crest of a mountain offers amazement and an amazing viewpoint of things below, it is not meant for everyday living.

Let me share 3 reasons why:

1. First, what is the purpose of a “Mountain Top” in life? To celebrate the struggle and hardship to get to the summit, right?

It is not easy graduating from college, there is major work in overcoming addictions, it takes sweat equity to break generational strongholds, the battle of a nagging ever present temptation takes skills beyond a solider, the years of facing cancer face-to-face, and the list goes on and on.

But oh, the glory once it is conquered-a mountain top of life-a moment worth celebrating. It is here where we take the time to express gratitude and sincere love for the LORD. A commemoration for what God has brought us through and reflecting on the valley of hardship survived.

Much like a birthday party or anniversary, it is an observance, a remembrance and it is a great treasure forever in our hearts. Nevertheless, the celebration is brief and daily tasks await.  

The “Mountain Top” is a salute to survival and a glimpse of God’s training in life’s trials.

2. Next, the conditions atop the mountain doesn’t sustain life.

Yep, the air is thin. It is not meant to be a place where one should abide. The higher altitude places a restriction on the oxygen level-sometimes the point of unhealthiness. Also, let me add the fact that the climate conditions can be extremely harsh.

Therefore, maintaining this “mountain top” lifestyle becomes harder than the struggle that got us there.

Think of it in vacation terms. Boy, what joy to go relax and take a break from day-to- day pressures of life. Kick back and enjoy while someone else cleans, cooks, drives, etc. But, at some point if I want to stay at this level of “resort” I will need to put in all the work myself. This level of luxury isn’t free and money can only stretch so far.

I think I would quickly see it is impossible for me to provide for myself at this level. It would begin to choke the life right out of me. There wouldn’t be time to even sleep let alone rest. At some point I would be begging to go back down the mountain.

The mountain top has boundaries and restrictions that are meant to be experienced as brief moments in life. It cannot provide a healthy daily supply of what we need.

3. Finally, there is very little growth at the mountain top.

Water is scarce and the soil is usually lacking the proper nutrients. Take a good look around. What happened to that lush forest and streams of water? It somehow disappeared.

Why? Because a mountain peak wasn’t designed for growth. It only provides a view of how far you have come and what lies ahead. It is a mere pinnacle of life to celebrate and encourage. But in order to continue to mature, grow, and truly live you have to enter back into a valley.

It is in the valley where you will find life-sustaining air, streams of refreshing water, comfort in the vegetation, perseverance in the trials of life, and true growth in your faith. The LORD is able to refine us to become more and more like Jesus in these oxygen rich conditions.

THOUGHTS:

Enjoy the Mountain Tops in life. Celebrate them for what they are worth! Yet, always remember the ascension, descension, and valley is where trust, faith, and endurance abide.

CLOSING THOUGHTS:

Regardless of the amount of Mountain Tops you encounter in life’s pathway—cling to the true Living Water, feast on His great substance, and live fully in the valley.    

Happy Salvation Birthday!

A gracious gift from God
Photo by Natalie on Pexels.com

What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all—life healed and whole. 1 Peter 1:3-5 (Message)

Salvation. What is it to you?

For me, it was definitely a new life! A birth into a new family and a new identity where I am loved and treasured. It is a regeneration I took for granted for years. I precious gift freely given that took decades for me to really appreciate and fully understand.

His grace choose me and I didn’t deserve it by any means.

The LORD really captured my attention through the mountain of trials. Dates began to unfold-new births in our family, more anniversary dates to remember, and many dates of death. A moment in time and I could quote them one-by-one. Why? Because I deemed them important.

Yet, you could have asked me my salvation birthdate and I would have had to ponder and ponder and ponder. The date in my life where I received a magnificent gift from God and I couldn’t remember. When I realized this, it broke my heart. Why had I let this become a fading memory?

This beautiful salvation Christ brought you and I is often forgotten. It seems “life” gets in the way and clouds our memory of a treasured date-the day we trust in the LORD and join God’s family. How this must break the heart of the father!

Today I choose to remember. I celebrate the beautiful gift and give thanks to all who will listen. Jesus is in charge of my life for eternity. I trust in His words and rely on Him to live my life. He is the only reliable source of hope and joy. I rely on Him to change my heart and keep me ever grateful for August 8th.

I pray God will fill me with the desire to always say YES to His calling and purpose. May I never forget this date and the price paid for it.

Thank you LORD for my beautiful gift. HAPPY SALVATION BIRTHDAY!

Do you know yours?

COME MEET MY FATHER

I am grateful for your life!

When I was learning to walk and talk, my birth father was enticed by other women, sex, and money. They were more appealing than his wife and child. After receiving divorce papers, he accepted a large sum of money from his own family to walk away from me.

I craved a father. For years every man in my life was selfish, abusive, and untrustworthy. They took what they wanted and discarded me as an irrelevant misfit with a different last name. After all, I was fatherless and my mother was working long hours because the financial support rested on her shoulders..

I always dreamed of the sound of my father’s voice, a glimpse of his smile, and the touch of his love. If only I could meet him face-to-face! And then it happened. His own father died. At the age of 16, I pedaled over to his parents’ house and knocked on the door.

There he stood-the father I longed to meet. “Hi! Are you one of the neighborhood kids here to see my mom?”, he greeted. “Yes and no, I am your daughter and I came to meet you as well.”, I replied. After the surface level conversation, my expressed condolences, and his unfulfilled promises, I left unknowingly that it would be the last time I heard his voice.

I can’t tell you the numerous times I wrote him. I tried filling my life with lots of “stuff” to satisfy the hole he had created. I became a workaholic and prided myself in my own efforts. I fought anyone and everything in my way. I was determined to leave a life of poverty, go to college, move away, and never look back.

I later got married, moved to Europe, and had twin boys. I just knew grandkids would entice him, especially boys. NOPE! I continued to send Christmas cards and letters. Then one particular letter struck a chord with my stepmom and half-sister. They reached out and became part of my family circle from that day forward.

For decades I heard about my biological father. His sex addiction lingered. My stepmom and sister went to church every Sunday. As they drove off, he would leave, choose a “lady”, bring her home, and return her before church dismissed. My stepmom and sister spent endless hours on their knees on his behalf.

I choose to spend my time differently.

I didn’t care about him anymore. He was nothing to me, but a mere form of a human. I quit asking about him and they stopped talking about him as well.

You see-I found a father! I discovered my Daddy and His name is GOD. He is truly the one who formed me in my mother’s womb and protected me above any earthly father. He extended grace, mercy, and everlasting love that will never run dry. He made a way for me to become whole. I know the sound of His voice, the warmth of His smile, and the embrace of His saving love. He calls me His own and He will never leave me nor forsake me.

Cancer took my stepmom home in 2013 on January 21st. Eight years later to the day, my birth father died from heart issues. Less than seven months later, my sister went to be with Jesus.

I buried my dad and sister’s ashes beside my stepmom. I even performed the graveside service.

As I uttered my finally goodbye, I said, “I love you dad.”

You see my heart had changed towards him. I cried big grateful tears after saying goodbye because his life had meaning for me—his absence drove me to the arms of Jesus. For once, I was glad my dad never invested in my life.

Christ changed my heart. He taught me to love when others could not. He healed my bitterness and imparted a forgiving spirit.

This is only the beginning of what God can do for you. Accepting Jesus can bring radical change for your heart, thoughts, actions, words, perspective, and on and on. Christ can fill your life with much more than anything or anyone can! If He can save me, He will and can save you.

If you have never accepted the LORD as your personal Savior, today is the perfect day. Come find the comfort in His voice, the warmth of His smile, and the embrace of His love.

Your Father awaits. Come meet Him today.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑